


ceaseless ; a collection of short blunder works

by stefonzolesky



Category: Arrested Development
Genre: M/M, Trans Male Character, i'll probably expand on it in later chapters but for now there's just hints of it, i'm such a sucker for trans!gob, just a bit u gotta pay close attention to that one, man I love projecting on my faves, these are just short and sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2018-12-22 04:52:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11960112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stefonzolesky/pseuds/stefonzolesky
Summary: It's a lot, to fall in love. And it's even more to admit that you've done just that.





	1. elysian

_**beautiful or creative; divinely inspired; peaceful and perfect** _

When Gob sleeps, Tony’s eyes start to burn because he forgets how to close them. It’s dark, save light in the corner of the room. 

(Gob will never admit he needs to sleep with a light on to anyone but Tony. Not even Michael. And he's hardly ever afraid to overshare with his brother.)

But Gob’s features are soft and he’s almost smiling, his lips are upturned just a fraction. Tony notices all the marks on Gob’s face, every line. And he smiles.

Gob’s chest rises and falls, uneven though he’s completely asleep. And it takes a lot for Tony to break the fallen silence, because it’s just so… nice.

“I love you,” He whispers, and the words roll off his tongue. He’s never said that before.

Gob winces when he wakes up every morning, curls against himself a little before he pushes himself against the headboard of the bed. Tony’s late to bed, early to wake. And the only reason is so that he can see Gob’s tired smile and bright eyes. He yawns and his eyes fill with tears.

“You’re up early,” He says. He always says.

Tony smiles.

“I always am.”


	2. jayus

_**a joke so poorly told and so unfunny that one cannot help but laugh** _

It’s not about telling a joke to be funny, Tony thinks. It’s about telling a joke to make someone laugh -- to make  _ Gob _ laugh.

And he usually does laugh. His eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles.

It’s one of those moments that Tony wishes he could capture forever and frame it on a wall. Gob’s smile is brighter than the sun.

It’s endearing, when Gob lays spread-eagle over his lap because  _ ‘I’m used to taking up this much room on a couch, Tony. You’d never understand’ _ even though there’s clearly room for the both of them. And Tony cracks a joke at every opportunity.

He knows he isn’t the funniest of anyone, but it’s enough to make Gob laugh. And that’s alright. That’s all he needs.


	3. heliophilia

_**desire to stay in the sun; love of sunlight** _

Tony never thought of Gob as an ‘outdoorsy’ kind of guy. But he lays in the grass outside the house, sun shining across his lanky form. 

His chest rises and falls as if he was asleep. His shirt is discarded to the side and beads of sweat form on his forehead. 

Tony sits beside him, shirt still on. He runs his fingers lightly over the scars on Gob’s chest. Gob cracks some childish joke or another with a smile. His eyes are full of  _ something, _ some emotion that Tony could never identify.

With that factor -- the fact that he can’t identify it -- he realizes it must be love.   
Tony can never wrap his head around the idea of love. But it swells in his chest and it makes his head spin. 

“You alright?” Gob’s gaze darts up to study his face with concern written in the lines of his forehead. 

Tony hesitates, slides so he’s lying alongside Gob in the grass. Gob’s hand finds his awkwardly, a bit of a fumble.

“I’ve never been better.”


	4. atychiphobia

_**fear of failure; fear of not being good enough** _

“You like me,” Gob says, voice soft. “Right?”

Tony isn’t sure that he’s heard it correctly. “What?”

“I said.” Gob frowns. “You like me, right?”

It takes a moment, and a blanket of tension has fallen over them. Tony feels like it’s weighing him down, like he can’t breathe.

“Of course I do,” He nearly gasps out. “Why wouldn’t I.”

Gob just shrugs. 

Their relationship is rather… uncomfortable. Or, not uncomfortable, but it’s new territory for the both of them. 

“I’m not all that great,” Gob finally says. 

_ Feelings _ are new. Neither of them has dealt with that before.

Gob continues when Tony doesn’t speak up, looking nervous and upset. “You could do a lot better, is what I mean.”

Tony shakes his head, his eyes warm as he takes in Gob -- as a whole, his eyes scan and read like there are gears turning right behind his eyes.

“I’m not sure that I could.”


	5. cynosure

**_a person or thing that is the center of attention or admiration_ **

 

Gob doesn’t like to hide. He likes to put himself out there, which is admirable. Something Tony wouldn’t expect from him.

Because when they’re alone, it’s different. He’s quieter and he’s more thoughtful and he’s admitted to being more honest with Tony than he is with anyone else.

But when there’s other people, he puts on a show. He makes a scene out of everything and creates problems when there isn’t enough drama for his liking.

Tony isn’t sure if there’s something beneath it, but he’s not bothered in the slightest. He can’t say he isn’t dramatic on his own.

“I love you,” He mumbles, knee-jerk. Gob can’t hear him.

And he can’t say he knows what love is, but it makes his throat clench and his heart speed up.

He says it a little louder. “I love you.”

Gob still doesn’t hear him. Tony can’t say he isn’t glad.


	6. diaphanous

**_light, translucent, and delicate_ **

Tony thinks that Gob is pretty.

Not in a feminine light, no. Nothing about Gob is feminine. He’s made sure of that, and Tony isn’t going to break that down by calling him pretty to his face. (Though he means nothing of the sort -- beauty and femininity don’t always go together.)

But early in the morning, the light shines through the blinds over Gob’s face. He’s slouched over a bit, a tired smile on his face and a hot cup of coffee in his hand.

Tony takes in a sharp breath.

“I like you a lot,” He says softly. Just loud enough for Gob to hear him.

Gob looks startled. His lips close around the edge of the cup. After a moment, he brings his hand down and smiles. 

“I like you a lot more,” He says.

Tony doesn’t object, but he knows that he’s the only one who's right in this situation.


	7. philophobia

_**the fear of falling in love** _

Love hurts.

It does. It hurts, it’s suffocation, and while Tony finally knows what it is, he also knows he’s far from ready to let himself drown. But the control is slipping right out of his hands.

He’s lost it. He’s actually gone crazy, hasn’t he?

“Gob?” He says, eyes trained on his feet. His throat is tight.

Gob looks up from his magazine and his forehead creases, his eyebrows knitting. “What’s up?”

Tony swallows his words. He shakes his head, and watches his  _ boyfriend _ with some sort of awe. 

“Nothing,” He finally says. “Nevermind.”

Gob hesitates and then turns his eyes back down. “I’m here if you decide you want to say anything.”


	8. coalesce

**_to unite, grow, or come together to form one mass or whole_ **

Sometimes, Tony forgets where he ends and Gob starts. 

When they’re laying in bed and Gob’s head ends up on his chest while he’s sleeping, subconsciously. When Tony feels his legs wind around Gob’s and something calm washes over him.

It’s nice, it really is. Tony couldn’t wish for anything more. 

He’s in awe of Gob’s form, he’s in awe of the feeling he gets when their skin brushes together, and as much as he’s terrified to fall in love, (because he is; it’s one of the scariest things to him,)  _ damn, _ Gob makes him happier than anyone has before. And that’s something he wants to grab hold to and never let go.


	9. pluviophile

**_someone who takes comfort from the rain_ **

Tony doesn’t “love” rain. In fact, he’s terrified of it, something he’s never mentioned to Gob until Gob catches him nearly shaking as rain hits the car windshield. 

“Tony?” Gob glances at Tony for a second, quickly turning his eyes back to the road when he starts to swerve.

“I’m fine,” Tony insists, though he’s not really fine. “I just… I don’t really do well with rain.”

Gob frowns. “I’m not gonna ask why,” He tells Tony as he pulls the car over to the side of the road. “But I  _ am _ gonna do this.”

He gets out and rounds the car, grabbing Tony’s hand and tugging him out of the car. Tony can feel himself shaking, from nerves, mostly, but the rain is cold as it hits his skin. 

“Rain isn’t gonna hurt you,” Gob tells him. Tony can feel himself smile. 


	10. epiphany

_**a moment of sudden revelation** _

Watching Gob perform makes Tony’s heart swell so much that he’s afraid it might burst. Sure, Gob isn’t the most talented. He goofs up more often than he gets things right, sometimes he cuts himself up with his mistakes, but it undoubtedly brings a smile to Tony’s face. It’s more endearing than anything else.

Being with Gob… it makes Tony feel like everything is right. There might be something scratching at the inside of his stomach, but the world makes sense when they’re together.

And watching Gob, that’s when Tony finally comes to the realization that this feeling is exactly what he’s been afraid of all these years --  _ Love. _

But suddenly, love doesn’t seem so scary anymore.


	11. kairos

_**kairos : the perfect, delicate, crucial moment; the fleeting rightness of time and place that creates the opportune atmosphere for actions, words, or movement.** _

It’s another night where Tony is in control of his feelings. Where he knows what’s happening, which is rare in itself. His skin against Gob’s is the only thing he can feel, physically, but his mind is racing. He’s panting a bit, though it’s hard enough to admit that, and he’s in  _ love _ , he’s so in love. And it’s truly beautiful. It’s scary, and it’s sickening, and it’s tight and tough and it used to be only eroticism but it became so,  _ so _ much more than that. 

And now it’s beautiful, and now he can admit it. He doesn’t need to, though. It lingers in the air between them, made of hard work, full of blood and sweat and tears.   
  
And it’s worth it, Tony realizes, in that moment. It’s all worth it.


End file.
